5'11". Likes a Cointreau, hates a quiche. Known for going off on one.  
"Descended in a starlit passage, in the company of an archangel, deposited at the gate of the marital home of an opera prima donna and one of the greatest Western thinkers of all time, the prodigiously precocious polymath quickly proved himself to be the most prominent purveyor of paradigms of his age." - [III, iv: The Saga of the Provost]

"Overtalking, Overthinking, Demanding, Up his own arse, Scratty bollock, Swanky bugger, Budgie botherer, Stuffy, Fussy,
Busybody, Chatterbox, Word lover, Lover of his own voice, 
​Uppity, Gobi Dick (really fucking dry), Twat. " - Ben

​Twickenham Majora Spelling Bee Champion
Owner of most featherweight .57 gram Quills
Pen Pusher
Encyclopaediatrician 
Globalite
Wooer at large
Pinot Gregarious
Omnilinguist
Jetsetter
Balladeer
Poet and I am aware

6'7". Likes a cyder, hates a meringue. Known for crude interruptions. 
​


"Born of boar, lived a pig, happy as a hog, in a bog." - said Me, Ben



"Simpleton, Throwback, Buffoon, Chump, Numpty, Grub, Rustic, 
Feral man, Goblin, One-man-and-his-dog-all in one, Phallus, 
Sphinctoid, Strong argument against Darwinism, Unkept, Smelly, Bearded tit, Dump of the Stig (bloody gribbly), Twit." - Sam

I got bees
Champion Veg Toss ‘02
Artsy Fartsy
Simple lad of simple pleasures
Wimple Wundra
Stoat in the sack
Pub Grub Regular
Truffle Bum Hoarder
​Digger
Tall Tale Teller
Mutton, a word I like